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Wednesday, June 03, 2009
If you want to blame, think first.. Hey , so if you want to get angry at someone about something , tell the person that you are umcomfortable with it and want them to stop instead of making a new enemy Make things easier for y0urself, dont create enemies because of yourself.
 How.? What is it that we need to feel to be mortal? To be sad over death, or to accept the reality. My aunt died today. she has cancer and survived for 5 years but her time is up I dont know why , but i dont feel sad, i dont really know her and thats probalbly the easiest reason but it never is clear. i was with her alot when i was a child i acknowledge that you, reading this probably never even known this aunt existed. but she did to me. i dont feel sad and i feel guilty. she migrated to new zealand with her family ,her husband is my mother brother and they have two kids. In the bigger picture, i think , sooner or later more deaths will happen . My aunts and uncles arent young and neither am i. I have been on this earth long enough to have a worry of people who i know just being silent and never returning to say another word or making me ever angry again. Its so blasted. From this , an even more worrying scenario is my parents. some they theyll have to go and ill never be able to argue with my mum again or suffer spending a few hours choosing a pair of shoes.I dont have any siblings so its hard.Imagine that. You most likely have a sibling or two to share your greif with . but i dont. Right now its probalbly sane to be empathysing and pitying my cousins as they just lost their mum. I am lucky. I just dont appreciate it enough i guess. Sometimes it takes one to suffer to appreciate. I think im gonna see life in a more positive way from now on. Everything im gonna see is good in bad Walking home from school So tiring? No. Excercise because im lazy. and ill probalbly gain weight during the holidays. So ,appreciation.Thats what i have refreshed in my memory. sometimes we just have too much in our mind to put into practise all our wiseness and instead bad things take charge like our impulsiveness,jealousy, anger. So lets not just use the reason 'Im in a bad mood' or 'I dont feel like it right now' anymore. Its just a stupid excuse people use to get out of stuff so they can have a break from things but its not ever going to make you happier.You're just avoiding a suffering which will do you good.
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